To help a friend who has been sexually assaulted, be supportive—not instructive. Allow your friend to take their time in making their own decisions about how to handle the situation. Remind them of their options, but do not make the decision for them.
- Provide the person affected with information about the resources available to them, including confidential support, medical resources, and reporting resources.
- Suggest to the person that they preserve evidence.
- Follow up with the person affected.
- Report the incident to the appropriate Title IX coordinator if you are a university employee.
- Take care of yourself after dealing with the situation. Get support for yourself if you need it. Consider speaking with a confidential counselor.
STEP 1 – LISTEN
- Be there and listen.
- Do not be judgmental.
- Ask if the person is safe; call 911 if in imminent danger.
- Be patient.
- Ask the person what they need.
- What to say:
- I believe you.
- I am sorry this happened to you.
- Thank you for trusting me with this information.
- Can I help you get connected to resources?
- What not to say:
- Ask the person questions that suggest they are to blame (e.g., What were you drinking? What were you wearing? Why didn’t you run? What were you doing in that place?)
- Question whether the person is telling the truth.
STEP 2 – SUPPORT
- Help the person get medical care if needed.
- Direct the person to on-campus and community resources.
- Let the person know they can request supportive measures, such as no-contact directives, housing relocation, adjustment of schedules, escort services, etc.
- Help the person consider whether to make a report.
STEP 3 – REPORT
- Report the incident to the Title IX coordinator, 608-796-3173, titleix@viterbo.edu.
- Share all the relevant information.
- Make an online report through Viterbo Speaks Up.
- Employees and faculty, remind them of your obligation to share what you have learned with the Title IX coordinator.
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Ways to Reduce Your Risk of Sexual Assault
Making good choices and keeping a watchful eye on friends while you are out can be the best way to stay out of a troubling situation. As a friend or attendee of a party you can make the choice to step-in and prevent potentially dangerous situations—this is called by-stander intervention. Here are behaviors and situations to watch out for in order to keep you and your friends safe:
- If you feel uncomfortable about a person or situation, remove yourself from it immediately.
- Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
- Do not permit yourself to be alone with someone that you do not know or trust.
- Go to parties and social gatherings with a group of friends. Arrive together and leave together.
- Do not leave your beverage unattended. Do not accept a beverage from an open container.
- Think about the level of intimacy that you want in a relationship and clearly state your limits.
- Clearly say no to unwanted drinks, touch, sex, gifts, or assistance.
- Maintain your own values despite what another person wants.
Information provided by Franciscan Skemp Safe Path, 2006